Relationships 101.......John Maxwell

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Recently my daughter and I were discussing relationships, she is an elementary teacher. I love her response! Shelli shared with me how applying the following principles from "Relationships 101" by John Maxwell to her students and team. Students benefit not only from her leadership but a relational investment.

John C. Maxwell outlines a vision for healthy and positive relationships in his book Relationships 101. It was such a great validation for many of the strategies I use daily interacting with my students, friends, and parents. In fact, each year my room mom becomes a dear friend even after the year of classroom interactions. An overview of the important and valuable contributions of positive relationships follows.

Fostering and cultivating relationships within your team is the glue that holds a team together. The more firm the relationship the more cohesive the team or staff. Interaction with others is inevitable therefore, it is essential to make it successful. Maxwell identifies respect, shared experiences, trust, reciprocity and mutual enjoyment as five key characteristics in relationships. Resulting in not only success for the individual but also the team will experience success together.

Another strong component for building a strong foundation for relationships is listening. The moment people see that they are being understood they will be more motivated to understand your point of view. I will listen to each person’s viewpoint and continue to offer phrases to verify active listening and ask them to “Tell me more about that.” “How did you feel when?” “Thinking about when you mentioned...what inspired you? Restating questions for understanding validates listening and deepens the level of trust in a relationship because you are showing them that you care about them and their beliefs, vision, or life at that moment. It has been said that people do not care how much you know until they know how much you care. Securing the level of trust allows you to motivate and influence in a positive way.

Henry Truman said “When we understand the other person’s viewpoint – understand what they are trying to do – nine times out of ten he is trying to do right.” This is one of my core beliefs and a foundation for my success in relationships. I have such a heart for children and a passion for their success. I truly believe that they desire to learn. As a parent, I believe that parents want the best for their children. My passion is to give them their dream by providing a learning environment saturated with encouragement, expectation and taking every opportunity for each child to see and hear their individual strengths and successes are celebrated daily. Maxwell refers to this as “possibility thinking.”

In order for “possibility thinkers” to emerge encouragement is essential. Maxwell has developed principles using an acronym for the word BELIEVE to build your belief in others.

B – Believe in them before they succeed.

E – Emphasize their strengths.

L - List their past successes

I – Instill confidence when they fail.

E – Experience some wins together.

V – Visualize their future success.

E – Expect a new level of living.

A leader is someone who believes in you and gets you to believe in yourself!